My Own New Year's Resolutions!

It may be early, but the fact remains, it is still New Years Eve! I've been thinking of resolutions all month, but my Mom's post gave me some inspiration to blog about it.
  If you want to check out her blog, go to www.eightgypsies.blogspot.com
You can also check out her Eight Gypsies YouTube channel, where she vlogs about every day life, and you might even get a quick glimpse of your's truly....not that seeing me is any thing to jump and shout about.
  I am really glad that my mother is trying these cool things out, she even has a Twitter account, something I haven't actually got off the ground yet!
  Alright, straight to the meat.
Reflecting on last year's resolutions, I didn't stick to a lot of them. I didn't memorize all of "Grease" finish my Arnold Horshack scarf, gain more patience or stop biting my nails.
   However, I did get a job, make things for Project Linus and wrote more songs and poems!
    Which brings us to:
                  Raven's New Year's Resolutions in no Particular Order.
1: Graduate and head off to a CNA program! I've been on the fence about it, thought of so many careers, but I believe I should definitely be doing this, and should just go ahead and do it, without second guessing myself.
2: More blankets for the kids!
3: Make hats for the military. I would like to add on extra service projects, I love to help.
4: Learn to love myself. I need to separate my mind from my body and see that I am an actual person who doesn't need the emotional abuse I dish out to myself. It really is what it is. The self loathing and doubting and not being confident has to end sometime soon.
5: Don't have any more anxiety attacks and stop the long string of crying nights. I don't know how much more of it my heart can take, and FOR WHAT? Maybe I know or Maybe I don't. This too, must end, for I just can't handle it anymore.
6: Complete my hug list (see last post)
7: See more of my home and birth state.
8: Keep digging in the genealogy.
9: Attempt my segue into adult hood. So far, it is not going extremely well. I still feel like a fluffy little girl, who is unsure of every thing. I want to grow up, but I know I won't be a grown woman for a long time, and I am going to be 18 next year. I want to be a small fluffy grown person! Hey, what's wrong with bows, wild eyeshadow, ringlets and admiration for Snoopy?
10: Go to New York City (seeing SNL is kind of a long shot goal, so I don't expect it.)
11: Meet Lou Christie (I have high expectations, I think he will be slightly easier to meet then One Direction, much easier! Luigi, I'm on my way!)
What resolutions do you have?

Lou Christie Next Year!!

I am such a happy little lady at this moment! A brand new year dawns upon us.....So much to do in 2016, including going to my very first big concert! It is a Doo Wop shows with tons of acts including the Skyliners and Capris, but most importantly, and the reason I am going, Lou Christie! The reason I bought two tickets, one for my mother, one for myself, with my hard earned dollars, and barely batted an eyelash! 

I have been listening to his music slightly longer then I have been working. I crochet to it, fall asleep to it, get ready for work and put on my makeup to it, lots of good stuff. He has a spot on the Raven playlist. Italians have the best pipes ever, I am sure of it, not as popular, but I think he is better then Frankie Valli! 

I may be the youngest one there at the concert, but that's alright, music can carry over generations, especially if it is GOOD.

I can't pick a favorite song, but "Chuckie Wagon" is one, off the "Paint America Love" album.....I don't have that album. But it's good.

Truth is, Lou Christie is on my hug list. I have a very long list of people to hug. One of next year's goals is to meet and give my Aunt a big hug, and meet Lou Christie and give him a big hug too. Should he happen to hobknob in the lobby after, I shall shuffle on over and with his permission, check off my resolution. Yes, this year is gonna be the bomb.

Sorry about the font, I put up pictures and it all went kersplat! Also, not exactly sure where I got the photos on Google Search, but these photos are not mine nor do I claim them to be.

That last one though...imagine two of them? I like lightnin', rain, and fringe jackets too.

Hats and Positivity.

Hoping that all of my readers had a Merry Christmas! My family did. No snow, but I am not complaining. I'm not the biggest snow freak. I love warm weather!
Over the last two weeks, I have been burning the midnight oil, made over 11 hats and counting still.
It was a kind of evolution of hats, as I had to make 7 different patterns before I found the one with the perfect fit. Needless to say, I spent a good amount of time discouraged and upset. But I am very, very confident in the pattern that is in the picture, the fits are great, the form is good.
The four hats are for my cousin, he bought from me, thank you so much! I have to get myself to the post office on Tuesday.
It's good to stay optimistic, if you can. It's always a work in progress, but always set the bar higher for your expectations of yourself. I have spent so much time putting the bar lower then my self since I had no confidence in my abilities. I suppose the best thing to do is to jump right into what ever you think you cannot do, and just work harder to do so. At least, that's what I am going to do.
It's a constant work in progress, and I find myself backsliding a lot, but things are so much better then they were at the start of the Summer, when I was so sick with worry. Don't let yourself ever get to that point, you will become a vegetable. Nobody wants a celery person.
I am glad the holidays are over, I think being upset at this time is no good at all.
Today's song is another by Mike Clifford, how enchanting.
Any projects as of late?

Stream Of Consciousness Writing

Tried something new today!
I am crazy and bananas for writing songs and poetry, reports, any thing, I love to write. Mostly poetry. I don't really have a form of writing, like a structure, I don't even really rhyme too much. Perhaps that stems from my father's disdain of lyrics that rhyme, so after that, I tried to exclude that form from my writing. However, I am pretty open to it, I just don't want to rhyme in a typical way, moon and June, hold me in your arms and your many charms. Charms! Lord!
  When I was crocheting, I remembered a video I saw on writing awhile back, it talked about songwriting and how Paul Simon used Stream Of Consciousness writing to write some of his songs. Well. I really admire Paul Simon's epic songs. My favorite song writers include him, Paul Williams, Joe South, Tony Romeo, and the Lou Christie/Twyla Herbert songwriting team.
  I'm getting off topic. So I thought, lemmee look up how to Do this stream stuff, see what kind of stuff this Paul Simon dude was getting into.
  Stream of Consciousness is exactly what it sounds like. You take a paper, pen, pick a topic and write WHATEVER pops into your head, without breaking, without censor or punctuation or even going back to correct your spelling. Only with pen and paper, computers or iPods are not recommended, it's hindering, less personal.
  So I gave this thing a go, I will share with you the three notebook pages that I had completed, no stopping, even though it was late and I had a massive headache.
  Here we go.
It's so vast and high when it hits the very peak of the Roman cathedral's ceiling, warm in notes, has my vote such richness to course through some chilly creek veins the rain was tempting today wet on the stairs shoes did not slip, money well spent I could scratch the arc and dome of the sky with the love in music my eardrums had felt, if I could see it bright colors could dance and rhapsodize in front of my very so many thoughts could make their way through dontcha love the way the bells and horns make your eardrums feel coffee and egg nog and old days and new days, drag lace curtains up and over my eyes in the dead hours of morning before the stirring can begin, the red headphones drawn tight over my little ugly ears, so much love had they felt enjoyed music had not destroyed back in prehistoria sure now can imagine, do imagine, almost ashamed, but healthy and smiling and drawing from a place non focusing as one should, keep all hidden, it's a drag across the linoleum flirt, a drag a drag, only solace to be found, so many songs so intricately planned, well done and pretty and moving can't get the words out of my pen can't wake up where I want in the fresh morn, I'd stay forever if I could don't want to pass into death fore I'm kissed lavender rose colors scope mouthwash curls readied can make something so grandiose and beautiful and the music will carry and carry strong like the mules in the mines, the mines, strong men's work can carry in the past random historical thought how odd can ya get to get back on a track desire country walks and drag me running through the lilacs and dandelions, messes of down home Polk salad girl can dream, its wrong, wrong, wrong to dream or want desire be confident love others love oneself wrong wrong wrong and anger but the music stood the test of time tangles my heartstrings in a wondorous way cut me open dance out the music from my stitches, gaping hole in my chest did the Big Man in the throne expell laugher? Music dance out walk the country walk take my hand for it begs for something a long time it begs can't admit what tears fell for but the music lifts and hits the ceiling hard.

Sephora Haul Etc!!

My very first time doing a mall haul!
   Today, I took my drivers permit test, and failed by four questions! This was one time where I practiced trying to be positive. I told myself, you've got this Ray! And I had a lot of support from family and friends. Bombed anyway. I am not usually an extremely positive person, especially when it comes to my view of myself. I think I am a massive failure in all aspects of life, and feel as if I can't even tell myself that I can do well, or God will drop another failure in front of me, just to keep me in a check.
   But, enough about that. My father and I went to the mall, and I did a bit of shopping! After dining at one of the finest restaurants, Arby's, for a decadent roast beef sandwich, prime curly fries and Pepsi worthy of the angel Gabriel, we hit Sephora! From Sephora, I bought a lovely wide tooth comb for detangling crazy curls!! I gave it a test run in the shower, and I call it a winner.
   Second, a new eyeshadow shade, Picnic In The Park. I love green shades. Especially when paired with a red or nude shade, really makes Brown eyes pop! I also signed up for their rewards card and received a birthday present, two lip crayons! So very happy and grateful. GROOVY!
  Next, we dropped in J.C Penney quick so I could get a sweater, then to Gertrude Hawk, bought my mother and sister some chocolate!
  Although we waited an hour and 15 mins at the DMV, then we're stuck in traffic, it was a great day spent with my Dad. That's really special.
   Today's jam of the day is a new old song I found on YouTube by Mike Clifford called "Close To Cathy". Be still my heart, it is so good, and am surprised I had not found it sooner. I really dig his sweater combo. I really love it when boys wear sweaters, it warms my little heart.One reason to love Winter!

ALMOST SATURDAY NIGHT!!!

  I have had a love/hate relationship with Saturday. When I was little, it was the best day ever, my father's day off. On that day, we would usually head out to the antique stores and to eat.
   We moved around a lot, Dad got a new job, and Saturday became just another day. Of course, it still had electricity in the air, as I feel all weekends do, but it just wasn't the same.
   Until Saturday became something to look forward to.
     I am crazy about comedy stuff, so I always loved Saturday Night Live. I would watch it sometimes as a kid with my parents, but I would have to Eiether close my eyes, ears or leave the room sometimes. Or the TV would get turned off! Bummer! As I got older, mostly lately, I was finally allowed to watch it, and recently became a loyal watcher, this 41st season.
   This show, not only is it funny, but it really means a lot to me. In the middle of November, I had my heart broken, or maybe I broke my own heart, I don't know what to say about this. Needless to say, what was a happy day, turned into one of the worst days on my list. I took it very hard, and though it rests near the back of my mind, as far as I can push it, it is still there, and it still hurts sometimes. It's just another thing on top of my pile of mental garbage that plagues me at every waking moment.
  It was a bad night, but thank God it was a Saturday, and SNL was on, and I could laugh instead of cry that night.  And laugh I did. It was a great show. If it had been a Monday or a Sunday or whatever, there would be no chance, I'd have cried all night.
   But of course, I pretty much cried all of Sunday night....and Monday.. etc etc...You can't win.
     But for that one time, I was happy and could laugh. And that is why I look forward to it ALL WEEK!
I bring cherry Pepsi from work, I get the Cheezits from the top of the fridge, get the posse together (my father and sister) and we have a great time, dying of laughter, I swear it is the best.
One day, though I don't count on it, I hope to see it live in NYC. That would be the bomb. It's always been a dream of Mine to see the Big Apple. AND TAKE A GIANT BITE!! 
 In the meantime, I might have a letter to Kyle Mooney in the works. If he sends me a photo, I can't decide where to hang it. I have my wall with the signed Jerry Lewis picture, I was kind of reserving that wall for Jewish comics, I have my Simon and Garfunkel poster on the same side of the room. I don't know if Kyle Mooney is Jewish, but Vanessa Bayer is...perhaps I will write two.

  After this week, the show goes on Holliday break, but I guess I can wait. At least I have some reruns.

And what do you do when it is almost Saturday night? Listen to Karla DeVito sing about it!

Hello Again!

  It's been too long. It really has. About four months to be exact. Every week, I thought of blogging, but just didn't have a thing to write about!
  Been crocheting as always, currently working on some hats that folks are buying!
Been working for four months at a restaurant, I really like it there. You meet a lot of nice people, and the food is good! Always a plus.
  Also, finishing up high school! I am a senior now, just turned 17 last month. It's not the easiest thing being 17, but it is not horrible Eiether. I guess at this age, you are getting ready to grow up, but there are still some things that you are not grown enough to do.
 Soon enough, I will be taking the written test for a driver's permit. Scared out of my mind? You bet! When is there a moment in my life where I am not anxious?
 Considering going to school to be a nail technician. I will be going to the same school my mother went to, she went for massage though.
Speaking of my Mom, she has entered the blogging world again after six years! This is her site, check it out, please follow her, she is a great lady.
http://eightgypsies.blogspot.com/
As for me? Well, I am back! No worries.